Young and Ignorantly Free

30 Jun

In this silent space, this still moment I look at a picture of myself eating while dining with friends on a night out. It’s a simple picture with nothing special about it except the casualness of my contentment. In the picture I sit at a table eating amongst Whites, Blacks, Mexicans, and other races. I dine on roasted chicken on nice white plates with heavy shinny silverware. I’m relaxed in my seat enjoying a good time. As I sit across my bed observing this picture , an awe-consuming recollection comes to mind. The picture had so much to say about me with out saying a word. In this photograph I sit with no worry, no prejudices , no shame. No inhibited feelings, no guilt, or sense of being less than. I am simply me. At the same time I also sit with an ignorance. A ignorance that many of my ancestors never had the pleasure of experiencing in their lifetime.

If you go back in time it’s not rocket science to know that some of my not to distant relatives were slaves. The word slave carries such a heavy vibration on it in the first place. To be a slave meant to work from sun up to sun down with no pay, to endure harsh punishment and cruelty without any justice. Being a slave meant to undergo criticism and belittlement with out defense. Although that description weighs heavy on the conscious, it still is a mild way of explaining the true meaning of what it means to be a slave. So it is hard to imagine at times that, not to long ago, my great-great grandfather was a slave. My great-great grandfather was a slave who bore my great grandfather, who then bore my grandfather, who then bore my father, who then bore me. This is a parallel cycle extending through a large percentage of the entire African-American population that coincidentally my generation overlooks or doesn’t pay attention to. Those wishes and hopes that my great-great grandfather only dreamed of in his days living are actual realities that I live in today!

My fraternal Grandmother, who picked cotton for pay along side her grandmother while she was a young child, speaks of the long hot work days she endured before she finally moved to Cleveland as a young adult in the 1940’s. Now a days my 77 year old Grandmother only speaks of how much love she carries for me and the many hopes and dreams she prays I see in my lifetime. In her eyes I represent and carry the blissful freedom of innocent youth. A freedom quit different from the one she experienced as a child growing up in Tennessee. The freedom that I have been so ignorantly born into brings about a crisp emotional unexplainable love from my Grandmother that I probably would never understand. A love of hope, freedom, and tenderness for such a beautifully blessed child.

As I walk n this world, as I talk, eat, sleep, breath in this world I carry upon me the dreams of not just my own ancestor’s, but the hopes and aspirations of all who at one point were slaves in the land of the free, America. What a profound solitary discovery! It is true that you let go of the past to move forward, but you must also look back at the past to know how far you’ve come! A picture is worth a thousand words, so they say, and even though this may not be a thousand it sure is a heck of a lot that were inspired from a glance.

To be young, Black, and Free! What a Blessing!

A Thought Passes Through

26 Oct

Beautiful. The sun shines through the windows reflecting shadows of leaves, which pass back and forth with the breeze. The day is tilted in the west revealing the 1 o’clock hour in midday melody. People scurry on they’re way, while time passes through each moment of existence. I sit inhaling the day with thoughts of my experience and wonders of things to come. At the core of feeling content I receive a sense of satisfaction in life. Deep down I know that everything will continue and everything will serve it’s purpose. A familiar tune brakes in to steal my attention and I find myself drifting off into memories that tell of a youth who was clouded and unsure of his self. Mystified by the large world and intimidated of the unknown. Recalling this I pause recollecting the time that has passed and the layers that soon piled away from a confused child. No longer a child, I laugh at such thoughts, which come to visit from time to time. Understanding the process of development I sit back and wait for the next lesson, which will come to teach me. Like those childhood days at the park I sit again now wondering what may come. Uncertain of what’s to come next, my recap of time lived has hushed any worries that may enter my mind and my optimism has become one with the sun, which now shines brightly on the horizon.


19 Sep

In the mind alone u sit. All that’s there is self. You contemplate but you can’t figure out everything that life is about. So many roads to go down, so many paths to choose from. Is there a right answer? No, I would assume. Many say yes, but there are just as many who say no. Which way to go. You wouldn’t ever know anyway unless you made a decision. Ride the flow.

Our Part

29 Aug

Life can be so spontaneous. No matter what may be going on, your always in the mists of change. I sit sometimes and observe people. Everybody has so many things that they consist of, but no one person’s consistencies’ are identical. Everyone going about their lives blind to the fact that we are all connected, and that each action taken by one of us affects the whole. You know that urge you get when you want to do something or say something. That thing that makes us take those actions. That energy that inspires us to take action is just us playing our part in the cosmic scheme of things. Because we have the power of choice it’s our own responsibility to choose love. Love is what we’re made of and without it we don’t function well. Nor does the world. Yes our roles can be predestine, but it’s our choice to decide how we’re going to play are parts in this movie which is life. Individually choosing love over hate is one step in harmonizing the world.

OThERS need OtHerS

26 Jul

I definitely need you.. yes.. you who is reading this right now. You may very well be the one who tells me that I misspelled a word or you may have an opinion about what I said. You may not have understood a concept I tried to convey or you may have wanted to show some appreciation for me, sharing with you, something that was on my mind. The truth is that we all need each other and every one of us is an instrument for evolution and expansion. In certain moments one receives information from a higher source that needs to be communicated. God may not speak to us directly, but he does use us as vessels to communicate messages amongst each other. If there is a situation I am in and I explain it to you through venting, because your different, you may see it in a new way and have a new perspective to share with me. Through your observation you may introduce a new view of the situation which can either help me along with it or allow me to reevaluate what’s going on. The collaboration between people is an aid in insight. What is a book if not read or a conversation with just one person involved. How can a marathon exist without other team members or how can a show be enjoyed without an audience. We all need each other.

Everyone exists for a reason and each one of us has our own purpose. No ones purpose is greater because no one’s piece of the puzzle is greater then the other. The puzzle is still incomplete without one of it’s puzzle pieces. Friction in understanding each other is what makes it hard to put the pieces where they’re supposed to go. Love is the lubricant that makes each piece fit easily. Understanding helps to release the lubricant (love) so that we may fit where we’re supposed to go. If I don’t know, tell me. If you don’t know then I’ll tell you what I may know. We have the option to take what’s needed and to leave the rest. After all, what’s the use of withholding information? We’re all in this together.

The Silence

14 Jul

There is peace in silence. It’s something about the calmness in the atmosphere when not speaking. A sense of knowing permeates the air as your senses fade away into the nothingness. Feels like relief coming in to sooth the soul. In that stillness I remember to just be. To enjoy what’s right now as the story of my life unfolds. Each day I wake up, the silence comes to greet me as I turn the page in this book of existence. Only in the right moments do you notice the benefits of silence. While in nature silence can be nourishing as well as rejuvenating to the mind. It replenishes energy while stimulating mental contemplation and exercising the imagination.
I love silence in the morning over coffee or in the evening on a porch or balcony. The company of silence for walks can be pleasing too. Even while watching the sunset there is pleasure with a deep breath of air filling the lungs. It reminds me that it’s just God and I who embark on this journey through life. We together create happiness and living that satisfies. We together discover the mysteries of life and the trail that leads to fulfillment. We together introduce love to each other, and we together communicate in the silence.

Enriching Life

11 Jul

Affection always touches the soul. Everyone needs love, but does everyone give love? Sometimes I’m faced with that question when I’m not receiving that good affection…that sentimental notice. When you give love out you always receive love even if not from the one you love. By giving love no matter what love comes back and can always find you in some form or another. Even when it seems like a long time has passed the love finds its way eventually, and when it does come, you remember that it never really was gone in the first place. You were just in a frame of mind that was blind to receiving it. The way a person thinks is always a determining factor in what is being attracted into your life. If you have a habit of expecting something bad to happen or when something is good you think that it shouldn’t be this good because bad stuff always happens then you may need to stop it. If you evaluate how you think then you could discover an addiction to pain, loneliness, being angry, etc. When one is negative one creates a momentum for feeling that feeling over and over again so one has to put the brakes on and turn it around with positivity. When in the trenches of doubt and self-pity you say “ yeah yeah yeah blah blah being positive ok”, but its so true. A positive state of mind produces positive experiences, but don’t worry your not alone. I work on it too. It takes practice to redo a pattern of thinking. If your getting hated on then stop turning your nose up at others. Lonely? Then let some people into your life that want to be there. Once you get the ball rolling it’s hard to get it to stop. The snowball affect works good with love… feels good too ;0)
I love to get the ball rolling with cackles and ke-kes ( laughter). Friends always help you with that and smiling is one of the easiest ways to start some positive change. Random comments from others that coincide with what I was just thinking always make me smile. Or meeting likeminded people who have stories to share that teach me lessons I didn’t already know. Chance moments like those remind me that God is listening to me and is working something out in my favor. I have noticed that how I feel about myself and my life is what the outside world mirrors back to me. When I think of the past and how I used to be I can only laugh because I’m so different then I once was before, and my life reflects that. Sunny days I appreciate because they light my optimism and keep me positive. Happy hours on the regular give me joy and kackles ( not happy hours at the bar, happy hours that are with friends that consist of relaxation, pleasant contemplation, or easy conversation). Positivity makes life rich.
Reminding myself and others that despite rough times there are always good times coming as well and everything is in constant change. What is here today can be gone tomorrow including love, career, or situations so appreciate things and they will increase in value. When your mind is set on something the universe flips upside down to help you get it. Chance meetings, random events, leading to good outcomes. Things do happen and I’m a witness. I’m showing love today and everyday even if it’s just a hug with my dog. Life can be rich… if you notice.


23 May

When I’m alone with my thoughts I often daydream and ponder the meaning of life and what purpose I have in it and when I do I realize that there are no specific purposes in life. Your life experiences are a series of different purposes leading up to no conclusion. As humans we look and smell, taste and touch. We experience the beauty in the world. As we go about our daily activities we fulfill our purpose everyday. The interaction that is exchanged by each other helps us all to grow in different ways and no one’s growth is more significant then anyone else’s. Together we add in the universe’s continuous evolution. I need you just as much as you need me. Even the trees and the animals and the environment needs us like we need them and from that it is fact that we all are one.

Struggle is ok

23 May

Life is full of surprises. One moment you can be up, and in another you can be down. Sometimes you can struggle and the struggle can be long, but what is struggle if not something that just makes you stronger. Every hardship is an opportunity for growth and change. Each experience is meant to teach and transform rather good or bad. I’m sure you’ve noticed that after a hardship you are different and better. You’re more aware of your self your actions and you’re a stronger person inside. After each struggle big or small you change. Everyone goes through difficult situations or enviable hardships, but life doesn’t pause because of them. Since life continues so must we. We must carry on forward into the future to contribute our experiences to the ever evolving universe. Things happen for a reason and most times when things happen it’s not for us to analyze or figure out. They’re just pieces of a puzzle that grows but can never be solved only lived. So when life gives lemons make so goooooood ice cold lemonade then drink…and enjoy. Who knows what’s next if anything can be concluded it would be that life is a continuous adventure and the anticipation for what’s next is always an exciting wonder.

Love Lost

23 May

It seems as if love can get you messed up…or infatuation can. People can embarrass themselves, lie to one another, or even die in the name of elusive love. In one moment you can love intensely then in another hate intensely. Love seems to disappear then reappear depending on the particular situation. That would mean that love fluctuates, but what causes love to fluctuate? Is it the energy? Yes, it’s the energy!
Love is the experience of God, and life . That force that makes everything live is God and to feel that inside you is love. Sometimes when your not open to life and the present moment, you can shut out that flow of love energy. If you are in a negative place inside then you cut off that channel to receive love. When your in a positive state love comes from all angles. This is evident in relationships. You love someone and it’s all good because your receiving love, giving love, and keeping up this momentum of positive/love energy. Then something happens like an argument, missed phone call, or rejection and then suddenly you move into a negative place and you start to close the channel for love because your hurt. So then you make attempts to replenish that love only to find that it becomes worse. Without noticing you’ve lost yourself by becoming to consumed with another. Getting back on track with receiving love again can seem like climbing a mountain but one thing to do would be to pay more attention to yourself and to find other reasons to be loved, appreciated, and accepted by yourself. Once you feel good and consciously believe you feel good (which means not faking the feeling), then you open your channel to receive love again and to reunite with the natural flow of life as you once did before.